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Porn is an escape. It is a door that leads out of life’s routine. Porn is a way out of hard work, screaming kids, tedious chores, difficult conversations, and the diligent pursuit that is necessary to make a marriage work. I heard someone say "life is hard and then you die." Porn, on the other hand, is an easy way out. When we need a way out from life’s difficulties, porn says "this is the way."
Porn is accessible. It’s easy to find, and sometimes it even finds us at our most vulnerable moments. Porn doesn't require you to do the dishes, take out the trash, take the kids to school, or even cuddle. Porn says, "I’m here for you to do with me as you please. Use me for your enjoyment and I won’t ask anything of you." Porn is not an experience; it is a catalogue of experiences that otherwise would not be available to the normal person. It always offers something crazier, more dangerous, more scandalous, and more disgusting for you to enjoy.
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There are many reasons masturbation and porn consumption continue in our lives on an hourly, daily, weekly, or monthly basis. Yes, there is an obvious payoff to these choices, yet taking the time to ponder the underlying causes will really bring to light why these addictions have become such a stronghold in our lives and why it has been extremely difficult to break free.
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Pornography.
Is it a temptation or struggle for you? Do you always end up giving in? Can you not stop?
Examine the steps leading up to viewing porn. Is it in the middle of the night when no one else is awake or home? Is it at the office during the day where no one can see what you are viewing on the computer? Is it on your smartphone?
Do you view videos or photos you have saved on the computer or on your cell phone? Do you have a set of magazines that you know are impure and wrong? Do you have a favorite porn star or web site that notifies you through email every time a new video has been posted? Is the porn you view strictly the videos and images you have sent to your email address? ...
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Porn.
It may appear a companion that is always there when life gets you down or you are in need of relief from the day's stresses, yet it will prove to destroy you and eat you alive.
Pornography is very twisted. If you stop and think about this (putting your sexual desire aside), you will see how destructive it really is. The fact that we are in the room, so to speak, lustfully drooling over the sex acts taking place right in front of our eyes is disturbing on so many levels.
Now, I'm not saying viewing porn isn't enjoyable. If it wasn't, we wouldn't waste our time with it. Rather, the convicting truth I am hoping to convey is how wrong it is to waste our time with this filth. It is the destroyer of relationships, tears families apart, breaks hearts, keeps one in bondage, distorts our view of what is appealing, gives us unrealistic expectations about sex and how our lover should perform, blinds us into believing we are desired (when really, the performer has no idea who we are and would most likely ignore us if they were to meet us in person), fills our heads with lies, separates us from God, causes us to lose the respect of others, makes our spouse or children weary about trusting us, leads to greater sins (hiring a prostitute, child molestation, rape, often frequenting strip clubs, introducing harmful and sickly degrading acts into our marriage that might shock and cause our spouse to feel totally disrespected and unclean), takes time away from what really matters in life, is a waste of money, and just like a dog who turns in circles chasing its tail, so we too are in an endless cycle of getting absolutely nowhere except for an obsession with sex (fake sex at that! Porn is planned, rehearsed, and a total show) and an addiction to self-gratification.
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When God created sex for a man and his wife alone to enjoy, He permanently linked its pleasure to marriage, love, intimacy, and lifelong commitment. Each of these keeps the sexual relationship meaningful and reinforces a couple’s union in marriage. In holy matrimony, sexual pleasure is grounded in love, freely shared, and maintains its priceless meaning and many healthy benefits. There is no cost. No shame. No guilt. No regrets.
Pornography is the opposite. It strips sexual fulfillment of all its purposes. It disconnects sexual arousal from its foundation of love, marriage, and lifelong commitment, and reattaches it to lust, vanity, irresponsibility, and the perverted thrills of sin and shock imagery. Instead of sexual enjoyment being a reward from God, it becomes an undeserved, unearned, unholy, illegitimate pleasure with no purpose. It is like sexual cocaine that lures a man into a trap and then rapes his mind and conscience, leaving him addicted, numb, and demoralized. He begins caring less about the people he loves. He quits rejoicing over good things and grieving over sin. He feels guilty, dark, and dirty, spiritually distant from God and emotionally disconnected from his wife. Not only that, he also gives Satan a foothold and permission to torment him now with condemnation, lies, and accusations. He’s much worse off than when he started.
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It is really appalling actually the vast amount of pornography and perversity in various forms available on the internet. It's awful how easily accessible all of this is because you don't even have to go looking for porn, it will find you somehow.
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Even though children may seem disinterested or distracted as you speak to them (or say truthfully that they are not interested in seeing pornography), or if your teenager thinks you are being a bother by your words in bringing up the topic of purity and the importance of guarding our hearts, eyes and minds from the lure of porn and thinks you are addressing this topic because you "don't trust them", please do not get sidetracked or think having continued conversations with your children or teens is futile, in vain, or without purpose.
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